


whisper under an umbrella

by pikohammer



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, happy saiouma day anyways :'), this is... i don't know. it's sad, very very vague mention of DICE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 10:26:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13925208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikohammer/pseuds/pikohammer
Summary: It's yet another rainy day, and Kokichi takes some time to dwell on his thoughts.





	whisper under an umbrella

**Author's Note:**

> WOW my first fic on ao3. real shit! writing makes me fucking squint
> 
> THIS is set in my post-v3 au where saihara takes ouma in and they live together. though it's not mentioned they are both trans and married here (hence the first name usage). cool fax!  
> i wanna post more abt this au… but anyways
> 
> this is a quick thing for saiouma day! really idk what this is. hope u enjoy!

Rain.

 

Kokichi was never particularly fond of it, regardless of whether he was in it or not. He couldn't stand the way the dark clouds painted the colorful sky in that detestable grey, or the way droplets would fall upon his skin, piercing it. Or even the way it’d knock against the windows. Whether it was chaotic or gentle, it'd still make that obnoxious, constant noise, when all he simply desired was peace.

 

Despite all of his reasons, he can't remember where his distaste of the rain stemmed from. Maybe it was because to him, rain often signified desolation. He knew that feeling all too well, he didn't need to be reminded. Or maybe, it was his memories. Memories of the days he'd be with his most trusted friends, as if they were family, but with nothing or nobody to shield them from the seemingly endless flow of wet drops and drained skies that took any feeling of safety from them. It was almost as if he envied the rain for being a much better thief than he could have ever aspired to be. Or, it was possibly the way the rain would mix with his tears, and how he was unable to discern one from the other. Like rain was the embodiment of sadness. 

 

Were those good memories, or bad memories? He didn’t think of it too much. There wasn't any point; is what he told himself. It's not like his memories were real, anyway. It was all a lie, a stupid lie he still so desperately wanted to believe.  Which led him to ask himself a question. Was the strange resentment he held towards the rain all a fabrication, as well? Just how many of his feelings were real? What defined _"real"_? He didn't want to know. In fact, it was one of the last things he wanted to think about. But the questions swirled through his head in a constant loop regardless of his internal protests.

 

Before he lost himself in his thoughts any further, he felt something engulf his hand in an uncomfortably familiar sense of warmth; another hand, lacing fingers with his. His first instinct was to feel alarmed, but he couldn’t let those emotions unleash when he saw that gentle smile. _Shuuichi's_  smile. The smile he so foolishly fell in love with.

 

"Is everything okay, Kokichi? You're spacing out again," Shuuichi spoke with that relaxing, practically angelic tone of voice that made Kokichi melt. Not to mention, it contributed nicely to drowning out the frantic falling of the rain outside. He slowly rubbed circles around Kokichi’s palm with his thumb, gazing at him with a blend of affection and concern.

 

It took a few seconds until Kokichi processed the fact he was posed with a question, one deserving of an answer. "...'M fine," he lied, but the hesitation and sound of his voice glaringly contradicted the words he spoke. He quickly glanced to the side to avoid eye contact. A habit he still had to shake off.

 

“Are you sure?” The concern in Shuuichi’s eyes began to overpower any trace of affection that was there. "Y-You don’t seem very okay. I mean, I don't want to be pushy, and you don’t have to talk about it if you don't want to, but..."

 

Kokichi was too busy lost in thought to notice that Shuuichi had trailed off. Was he sure? Did he want to? He wasn't entirely certain himself. He was so enshrouded in what he told himself to feel, so much so that he didn’t have a grip on what he _did_ truly feel anymore. Before he knew it, all the thoughts he tried so hard to ignore all came back to him in one swift flow, and he took little to no time to tense right up. His grip on Shuuichi’s hand tightened, aching for that sense of security he and his friends always yearned for back then, but were too afraid to give each other. The sense of security that the rain always took from them. How he _hated_ it.

 

Everything felt as if it came to a stop when he suddenly felt Shuuichi wrap his arms around him, pulling him in close so that his face was practically buried in the comfort of Shuuichi's shirt. As much as he wanted to bask in the sensation of warmth, everything surrounding them both was quiet. _Too_ quiet. Kokichi could only hear the hammering sounds of the rain outside and distant roars of thunder, as if it was berating him. Tormenting him for thinking that for even a second, maybe he could be happy. He grabbed small fistfuls of Shuuichi's shirt, smothering his face in it so he wouldn't have to be seen. Not by the rain, not by Shuuichi, not by anything or anyone. All he wanted to do was hide.

 

Shuuichi began to soothingly thread his fingers through Kokichi’s hair with one hand, and stroked his back with the other. "Kokichi," he whispered, "you're crying."

 

Confused at the statement, Kokichi took a moment to regain what little composure he could, until he noticed Shuuichi was right; he _was_  crying. Why, exactly? He didn’t know. He was too afraid to dig for reason; he never liked what he saw underneath.  _It's just a joke_ , he wanted to say. He couldn't.

 

"I love you," Shuuichi’s tone was barely above a whisper this time, as if to make his statement firmer. He bent down a little, just enough to place a quick kiss upon Kokichi's forehead before he continued. "You're not alone, Kokichi. You never will be, not anymore. I'll always be by your side, okay? Remember that."

 

_Stop contradicting yourself_ , was all Kokichi could think, despite how badly he wanted to push the thought away. Still, it was rather ironic, how he was being told the complete opposite of what he had once heard a long time ago. Ironic to the point where he wanted to laugh, but of course, he couldn’t. All he could do was bury his face deeper into Shuuichi's chest.

 

As if to tear him from his thoughts, the unsteady rain quickly faded into a soothing musical chime, dropping in rhythmic patterns. A sudden epiphany washed over him, as Shuuichi scattered numerous kisses on top of his head, perfectly synchronized with the gentle pattering that Kokichi found was genuinely helping him relax. He realized that the rain was no longer taking anything from him, but it was, as a matter of fact, giving him what he’d always longed for. Love, security, and somebody who _cared_. Did he deserve it? That was yet another thing he just didn't know. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. 

  


But what he _did_ know, was that perhaps he could forgive the rain for all it's cruelty and torment over the years. He could open up to it, reach out to it, try to understand it, and maybe even come to fall in love with it.

 

Just like Shuuichi had done for him.

**Author's Note:**

> help


End file.
